Also for ordinary people that die---grieving doesn't help them it binds them.

My mother died in dementia on the 20th June in Ireland. I am not sad as she is better off than being imprisoned in a body with no mind to speak of...I am not wallowing in grief as that is attachment and self indulgence...I have no power over any action in this delusion...human love is only attachment not real love...it is just pollyanna and ego for who is it that grieves and over what? ...There is only the life-force/consciousness or siva/sakti which we all are...my mother has not gone anywhere............my mother is what i called that body...The only power i have is the power to have an opinon not change the action....People grieve because it is about THEIR LOSS THEIR ATTACHMENT NOT THE OBJECT OF LOSS...suggest reading 'I am that' by Nisargadatta Maharaj.... Also for ordinary people that die---grieving doesn't help them it binds them..After a person 'dies' the conscious mind is in the vital body for usually a few days. This body is part of the subtle and looks like the person. A demented person is no longer demented in this form so it is better to try and think about them and talk to them for the last time instead of wasting time on selfish indulgences like grief. My mother came and visited me as all my relatives seem to....and we had a short 'loving and mutually forgiving' conversation. I did not try to find her like I did her sister my aunt and found the shell of vital body as she had gone through the second death and moved on............I talked to my father in the same way when he was in the Bardo and didn't know where he was........SO DO NOT WALLOW IN GRIEF HAVE A LAST CLEAR CONVERSATION,,,,TONY.